We didn't feel any fear leading up to birth and I was able to go with the flow of each turn my birthing journey took

affirmations clary sage led candles pre-eclampsa tearing
Molly's Birth Story 
I'm a first time mum and our daughter Delphine (Delphi for short) is 6 months old - about time I managed to share my Hypnobirthing story! 😂
Unfortunately my labour didn't go as I'd hoped, but hypnobirthing still helped us a lot and I look back on my birth as a very positive experience 😊 We did the online course and gave birth in a public hospital.
She was born at 39wks3days on 8th April, at 5:52am weighing 3.525kg/7.7lb and 50cm long.
When I was 39 weeks and 1 day my waters broke at 2:30am. Unfortunately I didn't start surging on my own, so at 8:30pm that night I had to go to hospital to start antibiotic IV and stayed the night on the maternity ward. Tried all the tricks in the book to get labour going but to no avail 🙁 This was quite disappointing because I was really looking forward to laboring at home and I didn't get to.
Overnight I still didn't begin surges so in the morning my fiance came back, we were moved to a birth suite and I needed some manual breaking of the rest of my waters (I think I only had a hind tear before this, which is interesting cause my mum had a hind tear with me and my brothers) which was so uncomfortable but I managed to breathe through it.
My fiance then did an excellent job of setting up the room with our hypnobirthing pictures, affirmations, LED candles, and put clary sage on the diffuser and our relaxing music on. There were already twinkle lights on the ceiling and a salt lamp in the room, it was a nice dim and warm atmosphere.
Still no surges, so then they began oxytocin IV to induce me, again I was disappointed as I'd hoped not to be induced. Surges then began and quickly got really intense. I began listening to my affirmations, walking around, bouncing on birth ball and using the TENS machine which was great for a while, until the surges became too strong and frequent for it to feel effective.
So I asked to try some pain relief, and began with the gas, which I absolutely hated. It made me feel so whacked out and like I had lost control, it was hard to see people in the room properly and comprehend stuff, everything was just off and yucky, so I stopped the gas and asked if there was anything else I could try.
The midwife suggested morphine, and I was reluctant at first since it can cause bub to be born sleepy, but in the end I decided to try it. After about 15 mins the morphine shot started to take effect and it was really good, it allowed the surges to become manageable and I was even able to talk in between them. Then I wanted to try the shower, originally I wanted a pool but because my waters released early I wasn't allowed to use it.
They put a clip on Delphi's head to monitor her heart so I could move around easier and we went into the shower. I moved between standing and leaning on a support bar and sitting on a shower chair while my fiance showered my back and front with hot water, it was really soothing, he did this for hours! We could have filled multiple swimming pools with the amount of water we used, not at all an environmentally friendly birth at all haha 😂
Eventually the morphine wasn't cutting it, the midwife had to turn the oxytocin drip up again and my surges got super close together and more intense, I had almost no break between them. I tried all different positions in the shower, and after a while I started to lose it mentally, and I asked for an epidural. I was worried I would be too exhausted to push with how close/no breaks my surges were if I didn't get some relief and rest. I also felt like I needed to poo so I think maybe I was transitioning.
The midwives were aware and supportive of my hypnobirthing preferences and that I didn't want an epi, so they tried talking me out of it for a while and suggesting more positions etc., I think they were concerned I didn't know what I was asking for/worried I might regret it. But in the end it really got too much and I was losing it mentally, I turned to my fiance, looked him in the eyes and said "I want the epidural. I'm suffering", and he knew I was 100% serious and knew what I was asking for as we'd done all the education and knew of risks etc. So the midwives got the anesthesiologist.
Moving from the shower to the bed for the administering of the epi was SO hard, a few meters felt like such a journey! I was afraid to leave the shower cause I hadn't experienced what these most intense surges were like without the shower water.
I just about crushed my fiance's hands as I used him for support to get to the bed. Sitting on the edge waiting for the epi was so tough, as it was the worst of my surges and without the shower to help soothe, and unfortunately the IV cannula in my hand fell out so the anesthesiologist had to put a new one into my other hand before she could put in the epi, which was a very unwelcome delay!
She said to me that I should have gotten the epi way earlier. I found out later I was 9cm at this point. Staying still during the worst of my surges while she put it in felt like the hardest task of my life, my poor fiance's hands were completely crushed then lol. After a while the epi began to take effect and I was given a button to push every 15 mins to increase the effect.
Boy, the joys of modern medicine - I couldn't believe how much better I felt! It was so wild to gradually go from such extreme sensation to feeling almost nothing in about an hour. Then the midwives went to have their food break (they hadn't left me for 12 hours at this point so it was long overdue) and said when they came back, we'd begin pushing and meet our baby! My fiance and I managed to sleep about 20 mins, I got the shakes though and the midwives said it was adrenalin and nerves, and my fiance was having a bit of an anxiety attack - he was fine in the end!
They came back and we began the pushing process - I was absolutely exhausted and was falling into sleep between each push. My fiance held my head up for me so I could have it down against my chest as I pushed (what the midwives told me to do to get more energy into each push), it was too much of a strain on my neck without his support.
At the end I was told I pushed for two hours, I had no concept of time during it though haha. I got to feel Delphi's head, and they remarked at how much hair she had! Near the end of pushing her head wasn't quite able to make it over the last hurdle and they said I could push for half an hour more before they got a doctor (to use forceps/vacuum etc).
At the end of the half hour they called the doctor and literally as the doc was coming, I managed to push her out myself! 😄 I was so proud! What an incredible, life changing moment ♥
She was crying immediately, not at all sleepy and passed all her checks perfectly, and she wasn't distressed at all the entire labour time, it was 51 hours since my waters broke, 12 hours active labour and 2 hours pushing 😊 She was straight to my chest and they let her cord pulse for a whole 10 minutes, it was thoroughly white and empty, then my fiance cut it. It was so emotional, the most amazing thing to finally meet her, many tears from us both and all the best feelings 🥰
I had a minor first degree tear and some grazes, so had some stitches and my placenta took a while to release but it came out in the end with some help from a doctor, and I only had 100ml blood loss which the midwives said was really good.
Overall, my birth didn't go as I'd hoped but I'm so proud I managed to birth my daughter in the end and the Hypnobirthing techniques and course really helped prepare my fiance and I. He was the best support ever, and we didn't feel any fear leading up to birth and I was able to go with the flow of each turn my birthing journey took, which I believe helped prevent any trauma and led to a positive birth outcome at the end even though I had the pain relief and interventions I hoped not to have 😊
I'm excited for my next birth and hope I'll get to labour at home to utilize more of the Hypnobirthing. I actually ended up back in hospital a few days after we were home with bub, with post birth pre-eclampsia, which was really shocking and traumatic, unlike my birth. I was in hospital for 3 days, had to look after Delphi on my own and I used some hypnobirthing techniques to help me get through it but it will take a bit of work to mentally heal from that trauma.
We packed and moved house when bub was 3 weeks old, so it's been a pretty hectic time and I haven't gotten around to writing out my birth story until now. 😂
I'm so glad we did the Hypnobubs course, it's helped tremendously! Thank you so much Melissa!
Will be recommending to all our friends and family, and excited to use the techniques for our next baby 😊 ❤️